Misusing Therapy Speak – how “Narcissist”, “Gaslighting”, “Triggered”, etc., Are So Often Misused

The increased visibility of mental health concerns and therapy have done a lot to reduce the stigma when talking about mental health. The other side of that coin is that people have begun to use terms used in psychology when they may not actually apply. But why are people using/misusing these terms so much these […]

Simply Relationships – Fundamental Attribution Error

“Never attribute to malice what could adequately be explained by ignorance” Over the years we spend with a person we come to believe certain things about them, not all of them good. For example, we may see our partners as “lazy”, “inconsiderate”, or “self-absorbed”. Although these unflattering beliefs can be problematic in themselves, there is […]

Simply Relationships – Having Tough Conversations

“The measure of a healthy relationship is not if we argue, but how we argue.” Every deep relationship has conflict. It is a necessary outcome of connection. The important thing is how that conflict is managed when it happens, and how we repair after a conflict. Today’s post is more about managing conflict when it […]

Simply Relationships – Filling the Love Tank

“Sometimes all you need is a hug from the right person and your stress will melt away” Valentine’s Day can go either way. At its best, it can create deep feelings of gratitude for your partner and your relationship. At its worst, it can highlight everything you feel is wrong or missing in your love […]

Dopamine balance – How Trying to Feel Good all the Time Might be Making you Feel Worse

“The paradox is that hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure for its own sake, leads to anhedonia. Which is the inability to enjoy pleasure of any kind.” Dr. Anna Lembke The content of this post is drawn from a great book called Dopamine Nation, by Dr. Anna Lembke.  Dopamine is a powerful neurotransmitter. Common knowledge tends […]

Simply Social Media – Comparison – Part Two: Positive Change

Even though education and awareness are growing around this particular danger, understanding that it is happening doesn’t always translate into stopping the comparison behaviour. This likely comes down to the fact that much of this comparison is happening outside our conscious awareness, and therefore, generally outside of our control.  We are constantly, and subconsciously, building […]

Simply Social Media – Comparison Part One: Understanding

“Comparison is the thief of joy” Theodore Roosevelt The parallel rise in mental health concerns and social media use has not gone unnoticed to most. I think a lot of us are at least vaguely aware of an association between social media use and mental health problems, even in our own lives. There are several […]

Simply Social Media – Adolescents

Depression and anxiety are a relatively common mental health concern and rates are only growing, especially among the young. Considering the parallel growth of social media use and these mental health concerns, a lot of people have been looking into a link between them.  Although it is very difficult to prove causation, studies have linked […]

The Victimhood Mindset: What it is, Why we adopt it, and How to address it

A mindset is like a default pattern we use to evaluate situations and understand them in relation to ourselves. People generally don’t just receive information and evaluate it objectively. Things we learn, experiences we have, our values, and our beliefs are just some of the things that create a lens through which we interpret information. […]

Good News: Life is Supposed to be Hard

 “Life’s hard. It’s supposed to be. If we didn’t suffer, we’d never learn anything.” Ethan Hawke So much of our efforts and ruminations center around making our lives easier. And why wouldn’t they? You would be hard pressed to find a single person who didn’t want their lives to be easier. That said, this desire, […]