Even though education and awareness are growing around this particular danger, understanding that it is happening doesn’t always translate into stopping the comparison behaviour. This likely comes down to the fact that much of this comparison is happening outside our conscious awareness, and therefore, generally outside of our control.
We are constantly, and subconsciously, building a standard for our ideal self/life using everything we see and hear around us. These standards are built in tiny increments by the thousands of pieces of information we encounter, a near constant input. Because this input is so consistent, individual thoughts we use to fight those impossible standards are simply outnumbered.
But there’s hope. In the face of this barrage of sabotaging information, we have 2 primary strategies: change and slow down the input, or change and ramp up our positive thoughts. Here are some helpful strategies:
- Self-acceptance – When we negatively compare ourselves to others, it might point to an area of our lives in which we already feel inadequate. Building a strong sense of self-worth, one that includes the things you may not like about yourself, can counter the impact of a comparison. We are human, we all have faults. Cultivating a sense that you are enough just as you are, including the parts you may not like, can help with comparison related distress.
- Be mindful about your social media use
- How do I feel? – Checking in with how you feel when you’re watching a video can be a good indicator of whether it’s good for you. You may not be consciously comparing yourself to the lifestyle influencer, but if you feel bad about yourself after watching one of their videos, that may be an indication that some subconscious comparison is happening.
- Remind yourself of what you know – When you do end up feeling bad about yourself, remember that you are wired for social comparison, and you are likely engaging in a very narrow and negative comparison. These representations are not real, they are selected and edited to present an impossibly perfect image.
- Consider the whole person – Remember that almost all negative social comparisons we make are very narrow, ignoring or idealizing the rest of a person’s life. Intentionally think about other aspects of their lives that you might actually compare favorably to.
- For example, consider that the fitness influencer is working on their fitness and online presence full time. That is their life. You likely have several other pursuits that make your life more full and well-rounded compared to one laser focused on working out.
- great motivator to change your habits.
- Set an intention or goal for how you would like to use social media. Social media is designed to be addictive, don’t let yourself get swept up in the instant gratification it offers. Think about how you would like to interact with social media and do what you can to achieve that goal.
- Be mindful about your social media use.
- Follow your values and goals – Once you’ve got an idea of how you would like your feed to be working for you, make sure to follow accounts that are in line with that goal. If you want to feel good about yourself, follow accounts that boost your self-esteem, or at least ones that don’t undermine it.
- Train your algorithm – Social media platforms use your behaviour to learn what you want to see. Be conscious of what videos you watch and think about how they align with your values and goals. Try to scroll past videos that don’t fit your goals and watch more content that does.
David
Simply Counselling Services