Gratitude has been a hot topic in psychology for a while now, and for good reason. There is a stack of literature that links gratitude to a multitude of positive outcomes.
Some of these benefits are things that you might expect, like increasing positive outlook, improving symptoms of anxiety, or helping to relieve depression. Logically, if we look at the good things in our lives, we might feel better. However, other benefits that have been found are less predictable. Studies have found the benefits of gratitude include improved immunity, better sleep, and even benefits for chronic pain.
If there was a pill that could do all this, we’d all be taking it. So why are we not all practicing gratitude? One of the drawbacks of this practice comes from an odd combination. Practicing gratitude sounds extremely easy, and… it’s actually not that easy. This mismatch between expectation and reality leaves most who begin this practice discouraged and giving up.
Also, the benefits of gratitude are not felt right away. It takes a long time of work with no reward before we see any lasting benefits. Our neurological reward systems were not designed for this type of practice as they are much more stimulated by immediate feedback. Because of this, it is hard for us to sustain a practice like this when nothing changes in the short term.
Finally, when you’re sad or anxious, gratitude is really hard to feel. Our emotional state can lock us into a certain way of seeing things. When we are distressed, we can be presented with all the good things in our lives, and subjectively, they will not outweigh our worries. These emotional states tend to dampen our ability to feel gratitude in the first place, which can be discouraging.
All that said, here is a guide to a gratitude practice and some helpful tips to get the most out of it:
- Start a running list of things you are grateful for. Make sure to add to it when something else comes up.
- Chose a time of day to go over that list, everyday (try attaching it to something you already do, like brushing your teeth)
- It might help to make a physical list and hang it somewhere prominent to remind you.
- Choose a gratitude buddy with whom you will send one thing you are grateful for every day
Things to keep in mind:
- This will not work everyday. The point of this practice is not to feel gratitude everyday, in fact, you almost surely won’t feel deep gratitude every time you go through the list. Our goal here is to give ourselves the chance to feel grateful everyday.
- Some days you might go through your whole list and feel nothing. This is especially true for those who are struggling with chronic mental health struggles like anxiety and depression.
- However, one day, you might feel a hint of gratitude in response to something on your list. This is the opportunity we are open to when we commit to a gratitude practice.
- When we have more opportunities for gratitude, we may experience it more often. If we can experience it more often, we can begin to turn the tide in our emotional lives toward the positive.
- When something on your list elicits gratitude, take the time to take it in. We so often rush past positive experiences as they naturally fade.
- By taking the time to sit with the gratitude, even for a few extra seconds, we maximize the impact it has on our brain. This can look different for everyone, but basically it involves elaborating on the feeling.
- For example, if you are grateful for a loved one, take the time to remember acts of caring or sit in the feeling of love for them or feeling loved. Try to extend that experience for as long as you can.
David
Simply Counselling Services