“Quality is not an act, it’s a habit”
-Aristotle“We become what we do repeatedly”
-Sean Covey
From ancient thinkers like Aristotle and the Buddha to modern self-help gurus, the power of habits has been recognized for a long time as important to who we are and how we feel. This idea not only speaks to the power of tiny acts to create big changes over time, but also to the power of choices we make today to create a better tomorrow. Habits, good or bad, can affect a multitude of areas in our lives. We tend to think of lifestyle habits, like eating well and exercising, as the habits with the greatest impact. However, habits in our relationships (making time for friends, quality time with loved ones), our practices (mindfulness, taking breaks), our self-talk (compassion, kindness), and importantly our thoughts (positivity, re-framing), all have important impacts on our well-being. The ability of habits to affect so many aspects of our lives means that it can have far reaching influences. Not only that, but the variety provides lots of starting points for a wellness journey.
That said, creating positive habits, or breaking negative ones, can be really hard. The graveyard of new year’s resolutions in everyone’s past is a testament to just how hard it can be. Fortunately, the recognition of habits as a source of positive change has encouraged lots of research into what works best when trying to build a new habit. Here are just a few helpful tips I’ve come across in my research on this topic:
- Start small. We often make the mistake of letting our big dreams create big goals. When we don’t reach those goals, we get discouraged and give up. Starting small can build motivation by setting you up for successes that build momentum. Some strategies for starting small could be:
- Break your plan down into the baby steps it will take to get there and start building your habit one small brick at a time (e.g. if your goal is to run, start by going for a walk, maybe move on to running for 30 seconds every 5 minutes, and slowly progress to the full run).
- Make your first step ridiculously easy. If your goal is to go for a walk 3 times a week you might not feel like it when the time comes. Make a commitment to walk 15 steps outside no matter what. A commitment that small is both hard to say no to, and easy to accomplish. Not only that, but those 15 steps can create momentum, making the longer walk that was your original goal more possible.
- Chaining. Even if you don’t have many habits, we all have some habits. Attaching, or “chaining” 2 or more habits together is a good way to build a routine. For example, if your goal is to go for a walk everyday, you might attach the walk to your routine when you get home from work. If the last action in your “get home” routine is putting down your bag, chain that with putting on your walking shoes and going out for a minimum of 15 steps. Maybe chain a positive affirmation routine to your tooth brushing habit.
- Accountability. This can take several forms. One of the most effective ways to create accountability is to tell others about the habit we are trying to form. We could even ask someone to check in on how it’s going regularly to level up this strategy. Another possibility would be to create a calendar that displays your progress visually. Being able to mark that red X on the calendar and seeing how well we’re sticking to our plan can be a great motivator.
- Don’t give up!! The most common trap we fall into when trying to build a habit is feeling as if we’ve failed completely if we lose some momentum. Remember to be kind to yourself. After a week, or a month, or a year, it’s never too late to start up again. Don’t let one setback sabotage the whole operation.
There are so many other tips and tricks for being successful in building new healthier habits (which I will share in a future blog post), but hopefully these will be enough to get you started. Can you think of something you would like to make a habit of? Choosing a goal is the first step!
David
Simply Counselling Services