“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”
– Samuel Johnson
As promised here are some more tips for establishing whatever positive habit you’re looking to integrate in your life. Remember, these habits don’t just have to be lifestyle related (exercise, eating well), in fact, some of the most impactful habits are the ones that involve your relationships with others, the world around you, and yourself. For example, trying to develop a habit of looking at the positive, in yourself and in your life, can begin to change your perspective and affect your overall well being.
That said, here are some more tips for integrating new habit into your life
- Stay focused on your goal. We often get discouraged by how difficult a new habit is at first. Try making a list of all the benefits this new habit will have on our life. When you’re feeling discouraged or a lack of motivation, pull the list out or put it somewhere you’ll see it. Keeping the benefits in mind might help you through those first few weeks of suffering.
- Contingency Management. This is just a fancy way of saying reward yourself. Choose an appropriate reward (nothing too unhealthy), and reward yourself with it after you’ve successfully completed the task you’re aiming for. This works best if you’re able to withhold this reward until after the task is complete. For example, don’t watch your favorite show until after you’ve spent some time checking in with your partner.
- Create a sense of accomplishment. Feeling like we’ve accomplished something is a great motivator. Making that progress tangible is a great strategy. Choose one or more aspects of your habit to track and find a way to make completing the task visible to you (calendar, list). Try breaking up your goal into bite sized portions, so even on days that you’re not able to accomplish your whole goal, you can mark at least part of it off your list. Once you have, sit with the feeling of accomplishment for a few seconds and savour it.
- Keep inching forward. Some days we’re tired, or stressed, or busy, and making progress on our habits seems impossible. On days like that, try to find some way, however small, to keep the momentum going. You might not have the energy for a 30 minute walk, but maybe a 5 minute walk would do for today.
- Identify barriers. There are all kinds of things that get in the way of our progress toward our goals. Some of these might be outside ourselves, like people or responsibilities that need our attention. However, very often those barriers come from within (desire to do something else, fear of discomfort, or fear of failure). When you feel a block, be curious about it. The more you know about what gets in your way, the more you can build strategies to get around it
- Be realistic. We all have limited energy and resources. Overestimating what you are capable of right now is a recipe for feeling like you’ve failed. When setting goals, make sure they are achievable given your current capacities and resources. Remember, this is just a first step!
These are just a selection of the tips that researchers on this have discovered. If you’re interested in further reading on the topic there are plenty of books out there on the topic. Some recommendations are:
- the Zen Habits Beginner’s Guide to Mindfulness, by Leo Babauta
- Atomic Habits, by James Clear
What is one tiny habit that could make a big difference in your life?
David
Simply Counselling Services