Grief often shows up in our lives when we least expect it. We usually think of grief as something tied to the loss of a loved one, but it’s a feeling that can come up in so many different ways. It can come from the end of a friendship, ending a relationship, a shift in identity, moving to a new city, losing a job or even reaching the end of something you’ve been working towards for a long time.
These changes can leave us feeling overwhelmed, lost, and unsure of what comes next. As hard as it can be, grief and change are a natural part of being human. They give us a chance to pause, to feel, and to grow.
Understanding Grief
Grief is also the process of adjusting to any major loss or shift in our lives. It can bring up all kinds of emotions; sadness, anger, numbness, relief, guilt, confusion, and more. All of these feelings are valid. All of them are real.
There’s no straight path through grief, and there’s definitely no “right” way to feel. There’s no timeline, either. You might feel okay one day and completely overwhelmed the next. That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, it just means you’re human and you’re going through the process of healing.
The In-Between
As we begin to move through grief, we’re often asked to let go of what was and imagine what could be. The space between grieving and transitioning can feel upsetting but that in-between is also where our healing begins.
Transitions often come with both sadness and possibility. It’s like moving away from home for a new opportunity. There’s the pain of leaving loved ones behind, but also the excitement of starting something new.
It’s okay to feel multiple emotions at once. You can feel joy for what’s ahead and still grieve what you’ve left behind. That’s what makes life bittersweet. Our emotions don’t have to be either/or they can be both/and.
Supporting Yourself Through Grief
Grief can be different for everyone and is subjective to how we process it. While there is so right or wrong on how you handle yourself at such a time, there are a few gentle reminders to help guide you during such a time:
- Let yourself feel: Your emotions are real and important. You don’t have to rush through them or push them aside. Healing starts when we allow ourselves to really feel what’s inside.
- Take care of your body: Grief doesn’t just live in our minds, it shows up in our body too. While we’re healing on the inside, it’s important to be gentle with ourselves outside. Nourish your body with good food, rest when you need it, and move in ways that feel kind and easy.
- Give yourself time: We’ve all heard the saying, “time heals all wounds” and while there might be some truth to that, it’s not the whole story. Time doesn’t magically take the pain away but it does give us space. Space to feel. Over time things might not hurt less but they might feel a little lighter and easier to carry.
- Lean on support: It can be hard to reach out and ask for support, but it’s often one of the most helpful steps in processing grief. Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or a family member, talking to someone can make a big difference.
Remember, you don’t have to go through it alone. If you’re going through grief or a big change in your life right now, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to put yourself first.