So, if self-help has so many pitfalls should you just cut it out completely? Definitely not. Self-help can be a great tool in your mental health journey, it’s just a matter of learning to choose the right one for you, and learning how best to interact with this type of material. Here are some tips to get you started on a better relationship to self-help
- Beware false promises: The primary marketing tool of these programs is selling you a life you want. If they are promising a life free of suffering, or a path to “easy” financial success, they are selling something that is not possible. Suffering is a part of life, financial success without privilege is difficult, use your best judgment, not just your hopes and desires when choosing a program.
- Don’t fall victim to comparison: Self-help will often offer you a model of the person you could be with their help. This model is often not realistic. Keep that in mind when comparing yourself to the model, and again, try to develop the perspective that you are enough in your present state. From that place of enough, we can engage more fully in improving ourselves.
- Watch out for programs that frame you as “broken”: As a psychologist, my most common goal is to develop a perspective in clients that they are enough, just as they are. Self-help programs profit off the opposite, a view of ourselves as broken and in need of their help. Try to look for programs that incorporate the more healthy view and beware our tendency to focus on our flaws when engaging in self-help.
- Remember that this program doesn’t know you: Don’t accept everything the book says at face value. If they call out a problem, pattern, or solution that doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to skip past it. Just because a program has your experience dialed in one aspect doesn’t mean it has everything right.
- Seek professional help when required: Therapy is expensive and self-help is cheap. This is just the reality, and one self-help is well aware of. However, if you have a strong basis in self-reflection and improvement built on a self-help model, 1 or 2 sessions with a skilled therapist can really personalize learnings from the program and make it more effective and less detrimental.
As a therapist, I encourage everyone to access therapy. That said, I know how expensive and inaccessible therapy can be for most people. Self-help offers a great solution to this problem. If we can be conscious of its limitations and learn how to best interact with it, self-help offers a widely accessible alternative, or add-on, to mental health support.
David
Simply Counselling Services