It seems like the word “grief” in and of itself is heavy – and I have noticed this in the counselling room with clients, using the language and calling something out as “grief” can change the energy so quickly, with a sudden sense of heaviness rushing in.
I think this is because we often think of grief in the traditional sense of being attached to physical loss, and mostly, the loss of people or pets, which is an incredibly heavy emotional experience. However, grief does and can absolutely show up in other ways. Sometimes I’ll notice if I name an emotional experience for a client as “grief” (and not in the traditional sense), after the rush of heaviness of naming it, the shoulders will relax, along with a deep sigh where the person has a, “that’s it!” moment. I think it can be relieving to have validation as often people find themselves experiencing so many of the same symptoms of grief (i.e., exhaustion, irritability, confusion, mood swings, etc.) but ultimately feeling confused because they don’t view their loss as “traditional” grief.
Just as the process of grief can be so different for each person, similarly, what we might be grieving on an individual basis can be different too. Some common examples I’ve seen in the counselling room where people have experienced symptoms or signs of grief include:
- job loss, (even switching positions within the same company or team),
- relationships ending (yes, friendships and family relationships too!),
- moving to a new location (this one is extra confusing because sometimes we can be conflicted with being excited for new opportunities)
- life transitions/changes (especially major ones like marriage, pregnancy, new children, changing parenting stages with growing children, or events like educational or career changes)
If you find yourself navigating some type of loss, change, or transition, perhaps reflect on your symptoms (write them down or share with a trusted person) and see if it matches with what we typically think of for the grief journey. You might find a bit of relief in being able to put language to what you’re experiencing, and hopefully, this can bring you to a place of acceptance, and eventual peace.