Self-care is a topic that gets talked about a lot – because it is so important!!! Practicing self-care improves mental health by reducing stress, preventing burnout, and boosting mood. It is also shown to benefit your physical health, productivity, and relationships. Yet many of us don’t engage in adequate self-care, and miss out on the potential benefits a few minutes a week could give us!
One thing that is important to consider is individual differences between people. The self-care routine of your friend may not work for you, because we all like and dislike different things! When exploring self-care options, check in with how you feel before, during, and after the activity. Are you recharged? Refreshed? Feeling accomplished? Energetic? Or did the activity leave you feeling anxious? Drained? Regretful? Different activities may also be helpful in different situations. For example, listening to music could relax you on your day off, but contribute to stress during your morning commute.
A second important consideration is the difference between self-care and self-soothing. When we are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, we typically engage in self-soothing techniques. These are acts that immediately make us feel better, like scrolling through social media or buying a treat. Self-care activities take a bit more work and effort, like organizing your schedule for the week or cleaning your house. Activities in this category will make you feel accomplished in the longer term. You can think of the two as being reactive versus proactive to life’s stressors. A few key things to remember:
- One is not better or worse than the other! You need both self-care and self-soothing as part of healthy coping.
- Everyone needs both. You can’t completely cut out self-care or self-soothing, but you can work to balance the two.
- Self-care and self-soothing are a Venn diagram. Some activities, like deep breathing and going for a walk, may fall into both categories for some people.
- It takes some planning. Since self-care routines are proactive, you may need to set goals in advance to get into the habit of activities that have a long-term payoff. You may also benefit from brainstorming self-soothing activities to find some healthier go-tos. Self-soothing can get sugary, time-consuming, or expensive!
If you’re struggling to come up with activities that might work for you, consider the different dimensions that self-care can take. You may be inspired by both self-soothing and self-care activities by reviewing the following eight categories, with some examples of each.
- Physical: taking vitamins, having a hot shower
- Mental: gratitude journaling, playing sudoku
- Emotional: crying, enforcing boundaries
- Environmental: making your bed, purging your closet
- Financial: investing, making a budget
- Social: meeting a friend for coffee, facetiming a family member
- Recreational: going to an arcade, reading a magazine
- Spiritual: meditating, visiting a place of worship
Finally, it is crucial to be intentional when you engage in self-care. Make a mental shift before beginning an activity. Decide that this afternoon’s manicure or hour of video games will be your self-care activity. Go into it with the mindset that you are acting to benefit yourself. This mental shift is key to getting the most out of your self-care, and feeling more accomplished and relaxed once it’s finished. It can also help differentiate between practicing self-care and indulgence, as you are taking the time to reflect on the activity. Setting intentions only takes a moment, and can allow plans you’ve already made to boost your mental health!
The Venn diagram of self-care can contain many different things for different people. But one thing is universal: we all need it! In order to fully practice and get the most out of self-care, find the activities that work best for you. Recognize what is the most helpful in different situations, and what activities fall into the self-soothing versus self-care categories. Take a moment to intentionally plan and execute self-care plans to get the most out of them, and enjoy the many benefits of self-care!