Life is full of constant changes that can disrupt our habits and shake us out of our comfort zones. Dealing with big life transitions can be especially difficult; there’s managing the logistics of the change, coping with the emotional toll, and grieving the life you’re leaving behind. Even positive changes can be challenging to deal with!
At this time of year, big changes often surround school. You may have a child moving to a new classroom, or even a new school in a new city. You may be a student navigating this change yourself. Whether it’s an educational change or another kind of transition, the difficulties accompanying life changes can be mitigated through several helpful strategies.
If a change is anticipated, like the return of a school year, this can be a huge help! When you can plan for a life transition, it allows for physical and mental preparation. Getting your errands and shopping done in advance will help reduce stress as the date draws nearer. Taking time to meditate, journal, and discuss upcoming change will help you and those around you prepare both physically and mentally. If you discuss or contemplate the change before it occurs, you also allow yourself and others the chance to process and revisit how you feel about the change later on.
Of course, life transitions don’t always happen on specific dates with advance notice. We can’t always plan for them, and these sudden transitions can leave us reeling. Unexpected changes such as job losses, breakups, and diagnoses happen to us all! In these situations, it’s important to allow yourself processing time. Without preparation, it is natural to struggle with the sudden life shift. Allow yourself plenty of time to adjust, and be patient with yourself as you come to understand and accept the transition.
Whether the change was marked on your calendar or not, it is important to take care of yourself during the transition period. This includes getting adequate sleep, eating well, and exercising. Dealing with new situations is mentally draining, so you need to ensure your mind and body have the fuel to keep up with the increased demand. It is also important to give yourself a mental rest by taking time to practice self care. The time demands during a life transition may make this difficult, but you will be much more equipped to manage the change if you are kind to your body and mind!
If a life change involves kids, keep in mind that they need to process the transition, too. While children are fiercely adaptable, they still need to cope with changes just like adults do. Children also lack life experience, so their process may be less graceful. Try to be understanding if your kids are struggling with the transition by keeping in mind that they are still developing the means to cope with life’s difficult situations. Make yourself available to discuss their thoughts and feelings. It can be powerful to share that you have struggled too, whether with the same change or something similar in the past.
For kids and adults alike, navigating a transition can be made easier if there are some things that do not change. Try and incorporate familiar activities, routines, and even food into your day. These elements will be an anchor of normalcy during an otherwise turbulent period. If the change is very stressful, it may be a chance to reintroduce some calm. Focusing on the consistent things in life can also help put the transition into perspective; you remain the same person with the same strengths and values. Remind your kids, and yourself, that your identity is made from you – not your situation.
Whether it’s the new school year or some other change, life transitions present a coping challenge for all of us. Remember to plan for changes when possible, but always give yourself time to readjust no matter the circumstance. Be patient and take care of yourself as you readjust to the life shift, allowing yourself the grace to grieve and struggle when those tough moments present themselves. When your kids are faced with change, extend that patience and understanding to them as they work to develop their own coping strategies and understanding of their new situation. Changes are an inevitable part of life, and it is only human to struggle with those changes – you are not alone! If you are having a difficult time readjusting to a recent change, never be afraid to reach out for support.